It has been a year.And I am a year older,wiser too I hope.I love writing in my blog,reflecting on myself - the past and the path ahead.The growth, how many branches have spread through the thorns and how the petals change its spectrums of colours,slowly to the darker shades and then wilt.Worry not, I have learnt to nourish myself under the bright streaks of sunshine that peek through the curtains of my heart.It rains sometimes,bleeding tears,thank God it is clear,not the red one,if not how could I hide all this pain that is bursting through my chest.Drowning, in my own thoughts.

Flower therapy, I called it.Just by looking at these beautiful creatures, my smile streaks across the cheek,with gleaming happiness.At night, when my heart yearns to express what deep inside I learn to mine my hidden skills - long left unrevealed.I filled the cup with water, only 1/3 of it.My hand slowly took the brush ,stroking my preferred choice of colours ,be it acrylic or watercolour.

There, I am fighting in my own arena, painting , portraying the image in my mind onto the canvas.

It has been a year, since the last wave at the airport.The final goodbye, physically I meant.Who would've thought, right? I still long for a proper closure. Would you read this? Little do I know.

Have you spare any time thinking how bad it was for me.Little do I know.

Would it hurt to inform me that you have landed here safely?Little do I know.

Do I hope that you are happy, I don't know.I do hope that I am happier.

I am better,alhamdulillah.

               

Ramadhan kali ini baru bermula.Aku tiada ayat-ayat indah malam ini.Cuma aku tersedar, banyak lagi orang dengan dugaan lebih besar, hilang tubuh badan dalam kemalangan, kehilangan ahli keluarga dan banyak lagi buat aku tersentak.

Apalah sangat ujian sedikit hendak dibandingkan dengan kehilangan lebih besar itu.Semoga musibah itu digantikan dengan kebaikan oleh Allah yang Maha Besar.Sebenarnya, Ramadhan ini sebuah hadiah.Hadiah untuk mula semula,untuk kembali mencari diri sendiri,waktu untuk kita kembali ke fitrah.

Dalam setiap doa yang aku pinta, ini salah satu jawapan.

Kita semua dalam perjalanan panjang, mencari erti hidup.Iman memang tidak mendatar, ia naik dan turun.Manusia itu sendirilah mencorakkan perjalanan ibadahnya.Aku tahu kita semua berperang dalam arena masing-masing, lawan kita tidak sama, tapi kita boleh berusaha membawa senjata lebih ampuh.

Mari, semua atas diri sendiri.

p/s : Tears stream down on your face (listening to Fix You-Coldplay)

Selamat malam.