If I am writing here after a long time,it would mean that - I am on the verge of doing my last minute assignment and I need to write just to express what is deep inside and to be okay again.This is my bad habit and I know,I know I should stop PRO-crastinate.

Sekejap saja,kita dah di pertengahan Julai.Saya harap penggal kedua 2020 ini membawa kebaikan dan kegembiraan.I read something about emotional differentiation,shared by a psychologist in twitter,and that changed the way I think.If we have no control about a situation then why do we let it consume our energy and affect our moods.Say no to negative things that are out of our capacity.I tried not to overthink things that is out of my control and that made me feel better.I do realized that I cannot be positive allll the way (that is toxic positivity,and someday it will consume me too).

To acknowledge that happiness come from within will also make you aware that you are what you feed your soul.Talking bout that I think I need to get myself a cup of hot green tea,with a spoon of honey and a slice of lemon.Yep,I will.

Alhamdulillah, so far my art journey has been so exciting as I stepped out of my comfort zone and started to use new medium which is acrylic.But,my love for watercolour will remain as always.It makes me happy that my orders are increasing and most importantly a lot of these lovely people are asking me to paint for their loved ones.Beautiful soul and hearts.May Allah bless them.

As I paint on canvases and papers,the designs that they desired,I keep reminding myself that I need to do my best as what I am projecting on the canvas is their act of showing their love and appreciation to their special ones (be it family,friends or their significant other).I only hope that everytime their loved ones lay their eyes on the paintings,it would remind them the love and memories that they had with that person.

I had my time of disappointment too, when the visuals of the painting that I desired did not turn out to be the same.But, it's okay,I can try again until I am satisfied with the outcome.Will try my best to deliver your happiness and love hehe.

This online learning works well for me,I think.I am enjoying it.Plus, I am blessed with good groupmates.I wish that I can ace this semester get higher grades than last semester (InsyaAllah,do pray for me).My prereg for the incoming semester was smooth,and I get to register myself in Clinical Psychology class which I intend to specialise in the future.InsyaAllah.

One thing about 2020 is that,despite the lockdown and adjusting to new norm,if it is still hard for you to find the blessings amidst of Covid-19, please do say Alhamdulillah as you are surviving this pandemic (if you are still reading this).The fact that we are still here,breathing, is a gift from God.Semoga kita selalu pilih untuk melihat kebahagiaan dalam sekecil-kecil perkara.

I will write about EEG and IMHRC in the coming post.Need to go back to psychology after so longgg.

Goodnight.

Assalammualaikum, semoga kita semua dalam kesihatan yang baik.

Sudah hari kelima semenjak perintah kawalan pergerakan di Malaysia dijalankan.Alhamdulillah, dapat bersama keluarga.Buat rakan-rakan yang ada di kampus universiti masing-masing, semoga kalian dalam keadaan yang baik.

This night hits differently, after reading news and keep scrolling on social media about the updates of Covid-19 especially in Malaysia,I feel bad tonight.It is a bad time for both of our physical and mental health.It must be tougher for the people that are actively engaged in combatting this virus.What we can do the most is to stay at home.

I feel as if we(I) took things for granted - a lot.The hugs,kisses and handshakes that were once an act of expressing love are now the actions that are prohibited to prevent the spread of virus.Our loved ones are so close yet so far.At times like this, I realized how important is the friendly gestures of the strangers in our life.We may not know each other but the warm smile,respectful nods and small talks by the people that passed through our life actually mean A LOT.We are keeping a distance from each other, yet we are all in this together.Together.

I feel grateful to be home with my dear family, I still remember contemplating whether to go back home or stay on campus last Monday.Called Ainun - cause I knew she would say "Baliklah,Farrah".Went back home with my family in the evening, and at 10 pm the prime minister announced the implementation of Restricted Movement Order (RMO).

This remind me of 2009 - the virus outbreak of H1N1.The memory is still fresh in my mind.That rainy morning in school as the assembly was held in the hall, most of the student were wearing masks.It was during Ramadhan, I had some of the symptoms so I went for a check-up at a clinic and was quarantined in my room for a few days.It feels weird not to fast during Ramadhan due to the symptoms.Alhamdulillah, I recovered.

This 2020 is like a wake up call.We keep saying that time is going so fast and when we are ordered to stay at home for these two weeks, it is a crucial time to do some major reflections on life.To reassess what we have been doing in our life all this time - are we running towards the goals in our life.Are they necessary?

Everyone knows I am that type of - I have dreams and I am living to turn my dreams into reality.But this time, I am thinking whether the dreams are worth it anymore.Sorry if I sound to be pessimistic.I need to be real here - my blog is my safe space.Also, I won't have enough time to write this in my journal so I keep it here.

When I was small before going to sleep I like to ask my parents - "Ummi, Abah how was your childhood time?" Ummi would share how she took care of her siblings and Abah would excitedly told how he prepared kuih with her mother (sadly, I never met my grandparents from my father's side.They've passed away.) early in the morning to be sold at the warung.Some nights when I shared the bed with my young aunties at rumah Mak I used to ask them "Cik Nani, Cik Adzim ad Cik Ah did all of you enjoyed your high school time?".They would talk and talk and talk with endless jokes in between.They laughed and teased each other until one of them was annoyed and we finally felt asleep.It was hot and I started to feel uneasy, I went to the bathroom and drenched my shirt under the shower,squeezed it and put it on.Only then I felt comfortable to go back and sleep.Sorry Cik Nani, I know you would have hated me for making your bed wet. T_T 

Hey, I've gone too far from the topic.But, writing about the past makes me feel good.We had a good time and we will go through and come out stronger,insyaAllah.

Spending extra time with my family, where each one of us is in our home (baiti jannati) ; That is truly a blessing in disguise.This time, at 22 I get to listen to my parents sharing about their childhood story again at the dining table.I get to learn how to play 'dam' and what it means to 'naik haji' hahaha.I was away from home these few years, minus that long semester breaks and I think I do miss seeing how Saffa and Mukhreez are doing at home when Sofea and I are away.I mean we are at home all day long,this time.Everyone is at home.It feels different.Now ,I do know that I can count on Mukhreez to sweep the compound of the house :P All those board games that were stacked under my bed (which I was considering to give to my younger cousins) are indeed useful now.

Alhamdulillah.Let us choose to see the beauty in small things that will later teach us that these things actually means a lot.

I pray that my family and friends with their loved ones are under the protection of God.

Esok hari keenam,duduk rumah baik-baik ya.Kalau rasa dah tak tahan nak keluar,berjalanlah sekejap di halaman rumah.Lebih afdal, bangun pagi dan nikmati cahaya mentari sambil lakukan regangan ringan.Kemudian kalau kamu tak ada assignment, ambillah masa terluang ini untuk selami skil kamu yang terlindung itu ^^ Siapa tahu kan?Bacalah dan bacalah.Kalau penat,tutuplah media sosial dan berhenti baca berita terkini,bacalah komik atau bahan bacaan yang menenangkan.Kadang-kadang waktu begini adalah baiknya juga jika kita perbaiki bacaan dan hafalan surah ataupun cuba fahami terjemahan al-Quran.Saya sendiri waktu begini bersyukur kembali berasa dekat dengan Tuhan - nikmat apalah lagi yang hendak kita dustakan.

Kesihatan fizikal dan mental kita sama-sama penting.